First let me say that my comments that follow are about something VERY REAL for one family.

More importantly PRAY for a family that the social services department in another state is trying their best to dismantle. Pray in particular that the TRUTH be brought to light.

The items in quotes are reputed to be from Social Services.

Here are a few comments that I wish you to ponder as Catholic men and as husbands and fathers.

"Your problem is that your family bonds are too tight"

"Abuse is learned within the family". If there is an allegation of abuse it is assumed that it was learned from the male parent.

"He was a stay at home dad when the allegation arose" Only an abuser would wish to stay at home with his children.

"Large families are by their nature abusive of the children" They cannot provide every physical 'need' that children should have.

"It will help you get custody of your children back if you divorce him." As my heading says: What is he? Chopped liver? They are their children.

"If you are given Physical Custody of the children, you may not even talk to him on the phone in the presence of the children."

"You are not to talk to him, even at church services."

"Since you do not have legal custody of the children, there is no requirement for them to go to church." They can decide for themselves when they are legal adults.

"Since the children are in the custody of Social Services their priest cannot visit them". See above.

"If you don't 'work with us' we can place you in jail like your son." A reputed response was that they should go ahead, they had already taken her children, there is nothing more that they can do to hurt her.

"You will be observed and your parenting evaluated during your visits with your children." Fewer visits as there are few 'trained observers' to do the evaluation.

I am trying to keep this vague but it is difficult. The entire process horrifies me. This is one area where aggressive actions to assume guilt make proving innocence difficult in the face of the actions that these alleged comments show being taken by Social Services.

How must the husband/father feel in this case? How wounded would any of us feel if we were excluded from the process of deciding the future of our children? How would we feel if we were told that our mere presence or our wife talking with us on the phone is damaging to our children?

Is this the fruit of No-Fault Divorce?
How would any of us feel/act if we were told that our Sacramental marriage must be ripped asunder for the right of one parent to have custody of their children to the total exclusion of the other? "What God has joined, let no man rip asunder" is what we are told in scripture.

I am old enough to remember hearing from my parents about the horror of the people in this country at hearing of similar actions in the USSR. What has changed to allow this to happen here? How deeply have we allowed the concepts of "State Socialism" to become entrenched. I fear just how easily we can be told "you no longer have legal custody of your children". I also fear the apparent lack of recourse. Most appalling to me is the lack of public scrutiny "For the sake of protecting the privacy of the children".

"Quis custodiet ipses custodies" (Who will guard the guardians?)

I do not intend this as a screed against the state. We know from much that is written what a horror abuse is. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse, abuse of power.

I will emphasize the request that I started this observaton with:

PRAY for a family that the social services department of one state is trying their best to dismantle. Pray in particular that the TRUTH be brought to light. May God's light and truth shine on all who are involved in this matter. May the Holy Spirit strengthen this family in their time of travail.

Pray in particular as men for the father involved! There but for God's grace (and a possibly unfounded allegation) go we!

I have been one of the confirmation teachers at a parish for three years now. We are usually paired up as man / woman wherever possible. It is important that the young adults learn that spirituality is not just a "girl/woman" thing. There are always too few men involved as teachers.

One of the areas stressed in the second year of the two year program is the gifts of the spirit. They are told that the action of the gifts are seldom immediately evident. I am emphatic with my students that the gifts are REAL. I tell them that they will see them "In the fullness of time" for them. They are marked by the spirit and the graces are given to them.

A while back I ran into one of last years students at a restaurant. He shared that he had only been to mass about three times since being Confirmed. I told him that there are graces within him that will lead him back when he is ready to listen to the voice of the spirit inside him. I remember that I did challenge him to try. He shared that he had been challenging one of his teachers at the local Catholic High School about her views. He had asked why she believed that it was wrong to send people to war while she never talked about it being wrong to kill unborn persons. That got him sent out of the classroom. And Yes, I do continue to pray for the students.

There was a sad note to the confirmation also. About 8 of the students were not there. The students are drawn from several public and private schools. This year several sports teams went on to the finals. These playoffs were held on ... Sunday. Sigh!

Another grace for me has been the Tuesday 6AM men's prayer group that I attend (at a different parish). There is always sharing and discussion during the hour spent in the church. However there are times when the fellowship and ministering to each other at breakfast afterward is equally valuable.

I have been struggling in my day to day with the actions of a person in authority who says "I have my values and you have yours" I will not change my values to suit the environment. I continue to pray for him. I pray also that I can "let go and let God".

A catholic singer whose work I value is Marie Bellet Her song "One heroic moment" has been speaking to me lately. Particularly the refrain "I know that it is nothing compared to Calvary". One of the other men last Tuesday reminded me of that line. He challenged me to continue to "offer it up". I remembered that this was what my mom taught me. I am to remain in the world and not of it. Why do I keep hoping it will be easy?

Another grace is the presence of a Prepetual Adoration Chapel at that same parish. It has been a great help for me. To use a term I first saw used by Mark Shea: I find myself in need quite often for "Spiritual Radiation Therapy".

Another grace is present in the person who knows best how to challenge me. My Christmas Gift from Alicia was in 4 volumes. I am back into Vol III again. Ordinary time. Yep, the full set of liturgy of the hours. I only pray the Morning, Evening and Night. By God's graces I have only missed a few times since the first of the year. She saw that I was ready. I had been reading the evening prayers from the booklet "Magnificat" out loud for us for several months last Summer and Fall.

Finally, and of no less value, I praise God for our youngest daughter. She will be graduating from High School next weekend. While there has been the usual teenaged angst and self centeredness, she has taken the time to thank us for what we have done for her. She is the last of our six and the "baby" of our family.

I praise and glorify the Lord for the blessings in my life. I challenge all who read this to take a few moments to review the gifts in their lives and offer praise to God for them.

Suicide has long been against the law. Likewise, assisting someone in the act of suicide has long been illegal. Now, because of this opinion, those who kill themselves and the Doctors who help them, are protected, at least in Oregon. As a former prosecutor, the supplying of a substance intended to cause death used to render one an accomplice, now, it makes one wealthy, at least in Oregon, if the accomplice wears a white coats and holds what is now – understandably- called a terminal degree. Given the trajectory unleashed by this opinion, the delivery of the new hemlock will probably be covered by “health� insurance.

I pray often for the "radiation" of God's fatherhood. If you have not read the play "Radiation of Fatherhood" by Karol Wojtyla, then I highly recommend it. I have read the whole Theology of the Body and all of the encyclicals, but my favorite is "Radiation."

I had not heard of this work, but, after Lisa's endorsement, I'm going to try to fit it in over the Thanksgiving holiday.

“Fraternal correction is a work of mercy. None of us can see himself well, see his shortcomings well. So it is an act of love, to be a complement to one another, to help each other see one another better, and to correct each other. I think that one of the functions of collegiality is to help one another, also in the sense of the previous imperative, to know the shortcomings which we ourselves do not wish to see -- "ab occultis meis munda me," says the psalm -- to help each other so that we may become open and can see these things.

Of course, this great work of mercy, helping each other so that each one can really find his or her own integrity, and functionality as an instrument of God, demands great humility and love. Only if this comes from a humble heart, from someone who does not place himself above another, who does not consider himself better than the other, but only a humble instrument to mutually help each other. Only if one feels this deep and true humility, if one feels that these words come from common love, from the collegial affection in which we wish to serve God together, can we in this way help each other with a great act of love.

Also here, the Greek text adds some nuances; the Greek work is "paracaleisthe"; it is the same root from which the following word comes from "Paracletos, paraclesis," consoling. Not only correcting, but also consoling, sharing the sufferings of others, helping them in difficulty. And this also seems to me to be a great act of true collegial affection.�

It is significant that reverent awe, a sentiment in which respect and love are mingled, is not born from punishment but from forgiveness. Rather than sparking his anger, God's generous and disarming magnanimity must kindle in us a holy reverence. Indeed, God is not an inexorable sovereign who condemns the guilty but a loving father whom we must love, not for fear of punishment, but for his kindness, quick to forgive.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ach [ch as in chair. -ed.]
Ach who?
Bless you!

And we have another fun word game: start with some phrase, say, "screen door." What's the smartest kind of door? A keen door. What's the skinniest kind of door? A lean door. What do you call an angry door? A mean door. What do you call the door to the bathroom? A pee'en door. What kind of door does royalty use? A queen door. What kind of door will you kids have in your bedrooms in a few years? A teen door. &c. Loads of fun!

To quote our local DRE, who doesn't let her pre-teen girls sleep over with friends, "You never know what goes on behind that pretty white picket fence."

Considering the ubiquity of internet porn nowadays, everyone is suspect. If your kids are going to be alone with a person (adult or child), take some time first to consider everything you know and sense about that person, and remember:

• you can't trust The System to protect your children for you;
• if you don't know the person, don't trust him; and
• children can be even more vicious molesters than adults.

Anyone who has been interviewed or intends to ever be interviewed by the media (MSM which includes "Public Radio") needs to be VERY AWARE of the process called editing. Context will NOT be maintained. Your intent will not come through but sections of your words will. Period. Paragraph. Stop and consider this.

In Broadcast there is the very real limit of time. In Print the concern is space. Journalists learn to write in a fashion that allows major sections to be removed and the coherence (that they intended) will still remain intact.

Note that I say "that they intended". Reporters, editors and the organizations that they work for DO have observable biases.

Some of us were taught in American History about the period of "Yellow Journalism" in the History of the United States. It was a very strong political bias, editorial bias, public statement of opinion by the print media of the late 19th and early 20th century. There are still biases present in today's media. (generic examples do follow)

In most cases an effort is made to act (or at least appear to act) in an unbiased fashion. Quite simply, I do not believe that an unbiased opinion is possible from the media.

We all think and speak from our individual biases. At times these biases are subtle. Remember from Genesis that "The Serpent was the most subtle of creatures."

My wife refuses to be interviewed for anything other than background unless she is allowed to pre-approve any quotes. This demand includes any sound bites.

I live in the diocese of Manchester NH. I work for the Public Radio station for New Hampshire. I am not a journalist, nor do I wish to play one. I am a Broadcast engineer by training and career. Any observations are personal and practical and NOT intended to be cynical. To follow the usual disclaimer from work ... "these remarks do not reflect the opinion of my employer, underwriters, or any other member/donor of ... "

NPR and the NPR member stations (yes, there is a difference) do make an effort to "present all sides". The problem is that this approach is not inherently unbiased. The flaw is glaringly obvious when the assumption is made that "everyone knows what 'normal' is and it does not need covered". IMO this is done on a far too regular basis. Likewise, coverage of certain opinions and lifestyle choices can serve to glorify them. At the very least, the more an opinion is covered the more it is "normalized". "Oh yeah, I heard about that on..."

There is also an unfortunate tendency for NPR to present a very balanced story and then at the end make a "zinger" comment. The comment establishes the reporter's (or corporately the Network's) opinion. The NPR Ombudsman commented to me in an email (personal complaint about a specific report) that (paraphrased) "The audience is intelligent enough to determine that what was expressed was the reporter's personal opinion".

As Mother Angelica was reported to have remarked: "Applesauce!"

How often do any of us really listen to a news report that critically?

There is a Journalistic "culture". In my opinion there is one for most careers. They each have their slightly differing worldviews. Law, engineering and Medicine come immediately to mind. These cultures are not necessarly bad. They do have their individual mindsets - worldviews. But, we should be aware of our biases and how they influence our actions.

The MSM is not necessarily "bad". They do provide a valuable service. Hey, I listen to NPR by choice as well as for my job. My opinion is that many in the media are unaware of their biases. Then there are those like the reporter I mentioned. In some cases a bias really is "expected".

What this really means is that we should listen more carefully. I'll repeat the word "subtle".

The more certain opinions are normalized, the more they become part of our culture, our language, our expectations, our laws, our legal precedents, and even our "civil rights". Are we on the verge of a "civil right" not to be exposed to someone elses religion? This "right" is already in place in mainland china. What others are in the wings?

Too often we unwittingly let our work culture(s) supercede our Catholic culture. Too often the surrounding "Culture of Death" (per JP-II) is overriding our Catholic culture. The pervasiveness of this culture has led to several examples of new "civil rights".

I am a Cradle Catholic. I have, over a multi-year period, re-devoloped a sensitivity to a bias against an orthodox Catholic viewpoint. It has everything to do with my prayer life, and my personal commitments.

My personal sensitivity shows when I yell at the radio every time I hear "Why can't the American Catholic Church just change this doctrine?"

However, I am prudent enough not to yell at the radio while at work.

I pray that by my example and quietly expressed observations I am able to be "salt, light and leaven" to my work environment.

St. Michael the ArchAngel defend us in battle.

When I posted the simplified Theology of the Body comments, I began to be nudged by a concern that the very simplicity would be taken to mean that the subject is not worth pondering.

It may be simple but it is far from shallow.

A few examples of simple concepts include: "God loves me", "I love my wife", "Christ died for our sins." All of them have a great depth to them.

When I say "I love my wife" it means that I must be willing to get on the cross for her. I must be willing to recognize our love in all its aspects as sacred. God's love is reflected through me. It is through my incarnate nature - my body.

We are truly blessed by this teaching of the late Pope john Paul II.

Everything God made is good.
Our bodies are good.
God's plan for us is written in/on them.
We share in this lifegiving love through our bodies.

Slightly longer:

God made me therefore I am.
God made me with body & soul, soul and body.
I cannot ignore one for the other, or exault one over the other.

Everything God made is good.
Our bodies are good.
God's plan for us is written in/on our bodies.

God's gift to us is his lifegiving love.
We share in this lifegiving love through our bodies.
Our sharing in his plan is through our vocation.
Those in the Vocation of Marriage share in this plan through the Marital Embrace.
In that embrace there are two aspects, unitive and procreative.
In that embrace we must be open to God's gifts.
We must be as open to the procreative as we are to the unitive.

This was triggered for me when Alicia returned from the ACNM conference in Washington DC. She was talking about long evenings of religious discussions with her roommates. Four of them were sharing a room. All were Christian. Alicia and one others are Catholic. During our discussion on the drive home, I stated the four sentence summary of TOB at the top of this post. "Write that down!" she said.

I am no "expert" on TOB. But I have begun to study it. I started several months ago with Christopher West's 10 CD set. What an intense and thoughtful lecture he gave on TOB. Recommended listening! If you have a long drive it is worthwhile. I was lucky enough to have a period of 8 weeks where I had nearly 2 hours of driving to do on a Saturday morning going to/from Cursillo weekend team preparation meetings.

The EWTN series on TOB was not quite as deep. But it had the distraction of having to be "visual" at the same time.

As I was writing the slightly expanded version above, I was thinking of Descartes and his "I think, therefore I am." I was led to remember that God made us before we could even think, conceptualize or intellectualize ourselves. The gift of life does not require that we "recognize" or "acknowledge" our existence.

I just realized that Descartes famous comment could be an infamous idolatrous statement. Just focus on the phrase "I AM" from his statement. Nothing exists until I recognize it. To use the phrase "I think, therefore I am" is to make oneself God. We should all know "I AM" as the name that God gave for himself when he was asked by Moses. I do not know if that was the intent of Descartes. I do know that in our times and self centered world, that is often how it is read & believed. That is how I heard it at St. Mary's College 30+ years ago.

This concept may have been discussed elsewhere. I don't remember having read it before. It did set me back to recognize it.

All that I am, All that I have is God's.
God made me, therefore I pray. Glory be to ...