Fathers Know Best

January 13, 2006

Advice from a businessman

Business guru Guy Kawasaki posted on his blog the text of a commencement address he gives occasionally. Don't look for it to be steeped in Truth about the meaning of life, but it does present some interesting ideas that would be worth discussing with young adults.

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December 14, 2005

Father and son

Gerrit van Honthorst's Childhood of Christ, currently in The Hermitage in St. Petersburg. Food for the soul:

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November 22, 2005

A play by Karol Wojtyla

Lisa from the True Motherhood blog provides the following link and strong recommendation:

I pray often for the "radiation" of God's fatherhood. If you have not read the play "Radiation of Fatherhood" by Karol Wojtyla, then I highly recommend it. I have read the whole Theology of the Body and all of the encyclicals, but my favorite is "Radiation."

I had not heard of this work, but, after Lisa's endorsement, I'm going to try to fit it in over the Thanksgiving holiday.

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November 8, 2005

Dept of Corrections

Pope John XXIII once said “See everything, overlook much, correct a little.� That advice is probably just as warranted for family life as it is for Church life. My wife and children will attest to the fact that I have always struggled with correcting too much (and affirming too little). Though I have improved over the years, I still have all-too-frequent moments of backslide. I’ve been ruminating on these words of Pope Benedict XVI for the past month, hoping they will help me to rein-in unnecessary correction:

“Fraternal correction is a work of mercy. None of us can see himself well, see his shortcomings well. So it is an act of love, to be a complement to one another, to help each other see one another better, and to correct each other. I think that one of the functions of collegiality is to help one another, also in the sense of the previous imperative, to know the shortcomings which we ourselves do not wish to see -- "ab occultis meis munda me," says the psalm -- to help each other so that we may become open and can see these things.

Of course, this great work of mercy, helping each other so that each one can really find his or her own integrity, and functionality as an instrument of God, demands great humility and love. Only if this comes from a humble heart, from someone who does not place himself above another, who does not consider himself better than the other, but only a humble instrument to mutually help each other. Only if one feels this deep and true humility, if one feels that these words come from common love, from the collegial affection in which we wish to serve God together, can we in this way help each other with a great act of love.

Also here, the Greek text adds some nuances; the Greek work is "paracaleisthe"; it is the same root from which the following word comes from "Paracletos, paraclesis," consoling. Not only correcting, but also consoling, sharing the sufferings of others, helping them in difficulty. And this also seems to me to be a great act of true collegial affection.�

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October 20, 2005

Communion of Saints

In the current issue of Lay Witness magazine, Leon Suprenant relates the heartwarming and faith-building story of how their latest adoption came about as a result of the intercession of St Gianna.

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October 17, 2005

Theology of the Body for teens

A catholic community in Maryland is presenting the Theology of the Body to teenagers in a program called "Free to Love". The sessions are available (for free!) as mp3's. As an evangelistic endeavor, I'm emailing the link to all the teens, catechists and youth "ministers" that I know.

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June 10, 2005

Maybe it's because Father's Day will be here soon....

I’m currently reading Fr Henri Nouwen’s book The Road to Daybreak, which is his journal of the first year (’85-’86) that he spent with Jean Vanier’s L’Arche community in France. Here’s an excerpt from his entry of 26 March 1986:

Sometimes despair seems an attractive choice, solving everything in the negative. The voice of despair says, “I sin over and over again. After endless promises to myself and others to do better next time, I find myself back again in the old dark places. Forget about trying to change. I have tried for years. It didn’t work and it will never work. It is better that I get out of people’s way. be forgotten, no longer around, dead.”

This strangely attractive voice takes all uncertainties away and puts an end to the struggle. It speaks unambiguously for the darkness and offers a clear-cut negative identity.

But Jesus came to open my ears to another voice that says, “I am your God, I have molded you with my own hands, and I love what I have made. I love you with a love that has no limits, because I love you as I am loved. Do not run away from me. Come back to me – not once, not twice, but always again. You are my child. How can you ever doubt that I will embrace you again, hold you against my breast, kiss you and let my hands run through your hair. I am your God – the God of mercy and compassion, the God of pardon and love, the God of tenderness and care. Please do not say that I have given up on you, that I cannot stand you anymore, that there is no way back. It is not true. I so much want you to be with me. I so much want you to be close to me. I know all your thoughts. I hear all your words. I see all of your actions. And I love you because you are beautiful, made in my own image, an expression of my most intimate love. Do not judge yourself. Do not condemn yourself. Do not reject yourself. Let my love touch the deepest, most hidden corners of your heart and reveal to you your own beauty, a beauty that you have lost sight of, but which will become visible to you again in the light of my mercy. Come, come, let me wipe your tears, and let my mouth come close to your ear and say to you, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’”

.....It is not easy to let the voice of God’s mercy speak to us because it is a voice asking for an always open relationship, one in which sins are acknowledged, forgiveness received, and love renewed. It does not offer us a solution, but a friendship. It does not take away our problems, but promises not to avoid them. It does not tell us where it all will end, but assures us that we will never be alone. A true relationship is hard work because loving is hard work, with many tears and many smiles. But it is God’s work and worth every part of it.

Even though I, myself, need to be more aware and accepting of some of the sentiments that Fr Nouwen expressed here, my reflection on this passage has mainly been from the perspective of my role as a father to my children. I hope that, through my raising of and relationship with my children, I have been able to impart some of these truths to them. I hope that they will learn how profoundly important it is to the Christian life and community that they know that “mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13), and that they live it out at every opportunity, despite the multitudes of times that they have seen their father fail to do so. I hope that my personal struggle with pride and arrogance hasn’t obscured their vision from seeing that humility, total dependence on God, clears the path for that mercy to come forth. And I hope that my flailing efforts to train them in obedience, respect and discipline haven’t overshadowed the depth of my personal love for each one of them, and that they'll know deep within their being that the love they sense from me is just a tiny fraction of the immense love that their heavenly Father has, and will always have, for them.

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June 3, 2005

Good Reading

You'll find some good articles on Youth and Family Life in the currrent (May/June) online edition of LayWitness Magazine.

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April 27, 2005

More Year-of-the-Eucharist reading

A fine treatment of the Real Presence in this article by Avery Cardinal Dulles SJ in April's issue of the Adoremus Bulletin.

I appreciated the segment addressing the over-emphasizing of the Presence of Christ in the Church and her members, vs. the Real Presence in Holy Communion.

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February 6, 2005

Thinking of the Elderly

In his Message for Lent 2005, Pope John Paul II has asked us to reflect on our attitudes toward and our attention to the older members of our Church and society: “It is upon this theme that I would like to ask you to reflect during this Lent, in order to deepen the awareness of the role that the elderly are called to play in society and in the Church, and thus to prepare your hearts for the loving welcome that should always be reserved for them.”

My first question is: At what age is one considered elderly? I certainly wouldn’t want to offend anyone by considering them elderly, if they do not yet consider themselves to be elderly.

I encounter many older people in my everyday life. My parents are just getting into their early seventies. My aunt (Dad’s sister) is in a nursing home, and is suffering from Parkinson’s just like our Holy Father. The oldest member of our covenant community just turned 99, and we have other members in their 70’s and 80’s. The town and county in which I live, which is in the heart of a region that raged with anthracite coal mining in the first half of the last century, has a large population of older people.

The elderly that I encounter on a daily basis – in pharmacies, in grocery stores, on the roads, even in the church parking lot – do not generally leave me with a positive impression about their age group. They can be extremely selfish, stiff-neckedly stubborn, joyless (and smileless), negative and complaining, and lovers of gossip. Not only do they watch entirely too much television, but they seem attracted to the worst programs. Certainly there are exceptions, and these generalizations can easily be applied to my own generation, and even many of today’s youth. Observing these attributes in action causes me to feel so sorry for these older people. They’ve been blessed with longevity, but are missing out on so much of what life has to offer.

So I anticipate having many opportunities to apply the Pope’s theme to my life this Lent. Hopefully, I can be more patient, kind and merciful to the elderly with whom I interact. I’ll try to visit my aunt more often, and encourage my kids to do so, too, as she really enjoys seeing them.

For some of our Church’s teaching on the elderly, check out this document from the Pontifical Council for the Laity from 1998, and Pope John Paul’s “Letter to the Elderly” from 1999.

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December 24, 2004

Mercy at Christmas

Today was the fourteenth year in a row that we visited Paul on Christmas Eve. Like our Advent wreath and Christmas tree, it is one of our enduring Christmas traditions.

Paul is an inmate in a maximum-security state prison about 15-minutes from our town. He’s a white guy from the Port Richmond section of Philadelphia. He’s almost 40-yrs-old now. I met Paul 14 years ago while I was participating in a bi-weekly prison apostolate with some other Catholic men. He was one of those guys – smart, good-looking, great social skills -- that makes you ask “How did this guy end up in jail?”

His Dad (+RIP) was a long-haul trucker, and wasn’t home a lot in Paul’s younger years. His Mom (now in a home with Alzheimer’s) battled alcoholism her whole life. Life in urban Philly had just too many temptations and ways for a youngster to get into trouble, which for Paul was happening by age 14. At around 20, he was convicted of three counts of armed robbery, and received a very heavy sentence. He won’t even be eligible for parole until February 2013. After spending time in both Holmesburg and Graterford (two notorious Philly-area maximum-security state prisons), he was transferred to the prison near me. Here he lives with about 2000 other inmates, many of them the worst kind of thieves, rapists and murders, and many serving life sentences.

While trying to make a name for himself in the eat-or-be-eaten culture in prison, he got into a bit of trouble and found himself in “the hole” – solitary confinement, most privileges removed. After several weeks in the hole, someone gave him a Bible. Recalling his childhood Sunday School classes at his family’s Lutheran church, he wept and called out to God for help. God’s word in Sacred Scripture touched his heart; he knelt, repented, and he committed his life to Jesus, right there in the hole. I met Paul just a few months later. I visit him by myself 3 or 4 times each year. He calls our home about once a week, and has become like a Dutch uncle to my kids. Over the past 14 years, he has been an example to me of perseverance and expectant faith. He strives diligently to live a holy life in a truly unholy place. He even had the self-discipline to give up smoking (while in prison, where cigarettes even serve as the primary form of underground currency!). In the past year, his 19th in “the system,” he has been struggling with his hope. He so desperately wants to get out (several legal appeals in process) so that he can do some good in society in reparation for the bad he had previously done. So I humbly ask you to keep Paul in your prayers.

Our annual family prison visit can be a real eye-opener for our kids. Even after 14 consecutive years, the sight of the double chain-link fences, each topped with razor wire, and the gun tower guarding the entrance, still puts ominous looks on their faces as we climb the long access road and draw near.

The entry process is a tad tedious. Anyone who doesn’t have a photo I.D. must have two other official forms of I.D. That meant taking six sets of Birth Certificates and Social Security Cards (for my six youngest). All pockets must be emptied. Coats are searched thoroughly. Shoes and belts must come off. Then, if you’re lucky, you’ll make it through the metal detector without setting off the alarm. They allow you to take very little into the prison: no coin or currency (only the prison-issued tokens for the vending machines), no pictures, no wallets or purses, not even the little automatic car openers. About the only thing you can take in are the tokens, your keys and your photo I.D. Then, back on with the shoes, belts and coats. You then pass through three different security gates, waiting at each one until the guard hits the electric unlock. A 50-yard walk gets you to the building that houses the Visiting Room.

The Visiting Room is a large open room furnished with small tables and plastic chairs. The windows are all barred (of course!). Convex mirrors are strategically positioned at points along the ceiling-wall intersection all around the room. Most visits are face-to-face, in the flesh. However, there is a station with two phones where inmates from solitary confinement (the “hole”) can talk to their visitor and see them through the security glass. And there is a small glass cubicle that houses a webcam and video monitor for inmates to have a virtual visit from a family member who could not travel to visit in person (@ $10 bucks a pop).

So, besides Paul, what do the kids see in the prison? First of all, they see a lot of black guys. We have hardly any blacks in our town, so they rarely see any (except athletes on TV). Secondly, they see a lot of Moslem black women, most with faces exposed, the rest of their heads covered with a nun-like headscarf, and wearing floor-length loose robe-like dresses. They see couples, and they see families. Today, my daughter Angela heard the man at the table next to ours proposing (marriage) to the woman who was visiting him. She said “No,” and he cried. We saw a family of five having their photo taken, the father (an inmate) not more than 30, the oldest son about 10, and the baby no more than 5-months old. An inmate dressed as Santa was handing out to the kids decorative plastic bags containing some candy and cheap trinket-toys, which helped greatly to occupy the little ones during our visit. It’s the only place my kids ever see an African-American Santa! He was perspiring a bit, so I bought him a cold soda.

Last but certainly not least, they see how truly and visibly grateful Paul is to have us come in to visit him, especially at the normally joyous Christmastime, which he says gets emotionally more and more difficult as the years pass. I pray that this annual family work of mercy touches the hearts of my children at the deepest core of their being, and helps them to bear even more good fruit in their own lives.

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December 20, 2004

The Pope and Children

Back in The Year of the Family (1994), Pope John Paul II wrote a letter to children for Christmas. In it, he really covers a lot of ground: the life of Jesus, receiving the Sacraments, praying, and being open to the Lord’s leading regarding a vocation. He points out how much some children suffer, and reminisces about his own days as a child at Christmastime. It is a letter filled with tenderness, inspiration and challenge.....for both young and old. Perhaps you’ll want to share it with your family this Christmas season.

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December 12, 2004

A Daughter Honors Her Father

A daughter writes about the virtuous life of her father and his dedication to the rosary in the November/December online issue of Lay Witness magazine. Touching and inspiring!

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December 1, 2004

Examination of Conscience

Advent is a great time to reassess our efforts at our ongoing conversion to a life of greater virtue. This means it's also a great time to receive the Sacrament of Penance. Below you'll find a good Examination of Conscience to help you......

Examination of Conscience

I am the Lord your God. You shall not have false gods before me.

• Do I deny or persist in doubt about the existence of God?
• Do I seek to love the Lord with my whole heart?
• Do I frequently give God time in heartfelt prayer?
• Do I take time to read God’s word in Sacred Scripture?
• Do I seek to surrender myself to God’s word as taught by the Church?
• In what areas of my life am I guilty of self-righteousness? (viewing myself as better than others in the sight of God because some aspect(s) of my life seems to me to be well-ordered or aligned with what I think God wants)
• Do I have false gods in my life? (idolatry) (people, pleasure, power, money, security, image, etc.)
• Have I been involved with superstitious practices, magic or sorcery by which one attempts to tame or serve occult powers? (Satanism, horoscopes, palm-reading, ouija board, psychics or mediums, fortune-tellers, tarot cards, witchcraft, seances, reincarnation, clairvoyance, spiritism, omens, charms)
• Have I been seriously involved in New Age philosophies or Eastern religions?
• Have I supported or participated in a schismatic group?
• Have I joined the Masons or any other cult or secret society outlawed by the Church?
• Have I openly dissented from the Church’s teachings? (incredulity, heresy, schism)
• Have I committed apostasy? (leaving the Catholic Church because I no longer believe her teachings)
• Have I received Holy Communion or any other Sacraments unworthily (in a state of mortal sin)?
• Have I deliberately lied in confession?
• Have I knowingly withheld a mortal sin in Confession?
• Have I failed to perform the penance given to me by the priest in my last Confession?
• Have I participated in a “General Absolution” service, with the purposeful intention of avoiding a personal confession to a priest?
• Am I guilty of the sin of despair? (lack of any hope for my personal salvation)
• Have I sinned against the Holy Spirit by stubbornly refusing to accept God’s love, mercy and forgiveness?
• Am I guilty of the sin of presumption? (presuming upon God’s mercy without an appropriate effort at ongoing conversion)
• Is my relationship with God “too friendly”? (not enough reverence for God, or not taking seriously how greatly he hates sin)
• Am I guilty of performing pious acts or works of mercy so that people can see them and think more of me?
• Am I guilty of letting other people know how much money I’ve contributed so they will think more of me?
• Have I kept the required fasts and abstinences?
• Do I regularly do penance and make reparation for my sins especially on Fridays? (Canon 1249-1253)
• Have I committed the sin of indifference by neglecting or refusing to reflect on God’s love? (CCC, n. 2094)
• Have I committed the sin of ingratitude by failing or refusing to acknowledge and return God’s love? (CCC, n. 2094)
• Have I committed the sin of lukewarmness by hesitating or neglecting to respond to God’s love? (CCC, n. 2094) (Rev 3:16)
• Am I guilty of the sin of acedia (spiritual sloth) by refusing the joy that comes from God and being repelled by his divine goodness?
• Do I have a firm desire to work at eliminating sin from my life? (ongoing conversion and amendment)
• Have I failed to make an effort to learn more about my faith?
• Am I guilty of praying mindlessly and mechanically, just reciting words quickly without contemplating the Lord?
• Have I knowingly put myself in danger of losing or weakening my faith by something I’ve read or watched?
• Have I neglected to share my faith in God with others because of fear or embarrassment?
• Am I guilty of the sin of tempting God by putting his goodness and power to a test? (CCC, n. 2119)
• Am I guilty of the sin of sacrilege through profaning or treating unworthily the Sacraments (especially the Holy Eucharist) or other liturgical actions, as well as persons, things or places consecrated to God? (CCC, n. 2120)
• Am I guilty of the sin of simony because I was involved in the buying or selling of spiritual things? (CCC, n. 2121)

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

• Have I used any of God’s names lightly, carelessly or frivolously?
• Have I told any jokes that made fun of God?
• Have I been angry with God?
• Have I spoken any words of hatred or defiance toward God? (blasphemy)
• Have I wished that God would bring evil upon another person?
• Have I used any of God’s names when cursing others?
• Have I abused the names of the Blessed Virgin Mary or the Saints?
• Have I insulted a sacred person or abused a sacred object?
• Did I break any vows that I’ve made to the Lord?
• Have I used the Lord’s name in swearing an oath that I had no intention of keeping?
• Have I committed the sin of perjury by lying or making a false promise under an oath sworn to God?
• Have I used vulgar or profane language (especially in the presence of children)?
• Am I embarrassed to refer to the Lord in conversation?

Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day.

• Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation deliberately or without a legitimate reason?
• Have I carelessly arrived late for Mass or left before it ended?
• Do I concentrate and participate at Mass by praying and singing, and listening to the readings and homily?
• Was I irreverent, silly or carelessly distracting to others during Mass?
• Do I acknowledge the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, and receive Holy Communion with reverence and gratitude?
• Have I broken the required one-hour fast from any food and drink (except water and medicine) before receiving Holy Communion?
• Has my behavior in the church before and after Mass reflected reverence for the presence of Jesus in the tabernacle?
• Did I cause others to miss Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation?
• Have I tried to observe Sunday as a day of rest and reflection, of family time or of doing works of mercy and charity?
• Did I do needless work/shopping on Sunday, especially the type of routine work/shopping that could have been done another day?
• Did I selfishly cause someone else to have to work on Sunday?
• Have I fulfilled my Easter Duty? (to worthily receive Holy Communion during the Easter season) (Canon 920)
• Have I fulfilled my yearly Confession duty? (to confess my grave sins at least once a year) (Canon 989)

Honor your father and your mother.

• Do I obey and honor my parents?
• Have I spoken disrespectfully to or about my father or mother?
• Have I neglected my duties as a family member?
• Do I strive to be an example of holiness to the members of my family?
• Do I view and treat my children as God’s children first, who he has entrusted to my care?
• Have I participated in our family prayer with a good attitude and proper behavior?
• Am I significantly involved in the education of my children?
• Have I proactively and aggressively tried to pass our Catholic faith on to my children, especially preparing them for the Sacraments?
• Have I tried to coerce any of my children to choose (or to avoid) a specific vocation?
• Have I been impatient or unloving with members of my family?
• Have I been a cause of disorder or lack of peace in our family?
• Have I brought or allowed inappropriate or disordered media into our home? (TV, movies, books, magazines, websites, video games, etc.)
• As a parent, have I neglected to exercise proper authority over my children?
• When I corrected or disciplined my children, was I loving? Appropriately merciful?
• Have I failed to show appropriate affection and encouragement to the other members of my family?
• Have I done my chores and fulfilled my household responsibilities?
• Have I taken time for substantive communication with the members of my family?
• Has my self-centeredness caused me to be rude, sullen or sulky in my home?
• Do I spend time with (or care for) my aged, sick or lonely relatives?
• Have I failed to carry out the last will of a deceased parent?
• Have I neglected any of the duties of my state in life?
• Do I obey all legitimate authority?
• Do I neglect to exercise my right to vote?
• Do I advocate perverse forms of family structure proffered by the prevailing culture?

You shall not kill.

• Have I harbored anger, hatred or resentment in my heart?
• Am I guilty of judging others?
• Have I abused alcoholic beverages, tobacco or drugs?
• Am I guilty of the sin of gluttony? Purposely under-eating?
• Do I care for my health adequately?
• Have I physically harmed anyone?
• Have I made a serious attempt at suicide, or encouraged someone else to do so?
• Have I verbally abused anyone?
• Do I readily extend mercy and forgive others?
• Have I asked for forgiveness when I should have?
• Have I been patient in the face of sufferings, sorrows and disappointments? Have I united my sufferings to the sufferings of Jesus, and offered them up?
• Am I guilty of malice, treachery, haughtiness, rivalry, discord, quarrels, angry words, insolence, spitefulness, antagonism, tantrums, the “silent treatment,” rebelliousness, selfishness, pride, pettiness, insults, bossiness or being inconsiderate?
• Have I been receptive to lovingly-delivered and properly-ordered correction?
• Do I regularly neglect to express my gratitude to others?
• Did I give scandal to anyone by my attitudes or behavior, thereby leading them into sin?
• Have I had an abortion, or encouraged or helped someone else to have an abortion?
• Have I voted for a non-Pro-Life candidate, when a Pro-Life candidate was also running?
• Have I encouraged or condoned sterilization?
• Have I mutilated myself through any form of sterilization to avoid having children?
• Have I engaged in artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization?
• Have I participated in or approved of euthanasia?
• Have I participated in or supported human cloning?
• Have I advocated or supported an unjust war?
• Do I drive in a safe and courteous manner?
• Have I taken revenge on someone, or taken pleasure in imagining it?
• Have I willfully engaged in an unjust lawsuit?
• Am I guilty of bigotry? (hatred of persons of other races)
• Have I prayed for my enemies and persecutors? (Mt 5:44)
• Have I done anything to pollute or otherwise damage our natural environment?

You shall not commit adultery.

• Have I disrespected members of the opposite sex by thinking of them as mere objects for my pleasure?
• Have I been chaste in thought, word and action?
• Have I dressed immodestly?
• Have I allowed my mind to dwell on impure thoughts?
• Have I caused impure thoughts through reading or pictures? (magazines, television, movies, internet)
• Have I engaged in masturbation?
• Have I been faithful to my marriage vows in thought and action?
• Have I engaged in any sexual activity outside of marriage?
• Have I used any method of contraception or artificial birth control?
• Has each sexual act in my marriage been open to the transmission of new human life?
• Have I engaged in any homosexual activity?
• Have I given impure or pornographic material to someone else?

You shall not steal.

• Do I waste time? (work, school, home, etc.)
• Have I stolen anything?
• Have I failed to return and/or make restitution for anything that I had stolen?
• Have I knowingly accepted or purchased stolen property?
• Have I purposely damaged someone else’s property?
• Have I cheated anyone out of what is justly theirs? (friends, neighbors, workplace, creditors, insurance companies, etc.) (especially by breaking a contract or business agreement)
• Have I cheated? (tests, games, taxes, expense accounts, etc.)
• Have I accepted bribes, or otherwise sold my influence?
• Have I engaged in blackmail, fraud, embezzlement, price-fixing, tax evasion, criminal forgery, or copyright violation?
• Have I been a poor steward of any of the resources with which the Lord has blessed me?
• Do I pay my debts promptly?
• Have I incurred debt that I know is beyond my means?
• Do I regularly support my parish financially?
• Have I given to the poor? (relative to my income)
• Do I gamble excessively?
• Do I pay a fair wage to my employees, and provide good and safe working conditions?
• Have I been guilty of laziness or excessive idleness?
• Have I neglected or abused any animals?

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

• Have I lied?
• Have I gossiped?
• Have I been negative, uncharitable, or too critical of others in my words or thoughts?
• Do I complain too much?
• Do I talk excessively?
• When I have a different opinion, must I always express it?
• Am I boastful or self-aggrandizing in conversation?
• Have I been sincere in my dealings with others?
• Am I guilty of unfairness or persecution?
• Do I keep secret what should be confidential?
• Am I guilty of morbid curiosity?
• Have I injured the reputation of others by speaking about them negatively? Made restitution? Asked their forgiveness?

You shall not desire your neighbor’s wife.

• Have I said or done anything which made a mockery of my wedding vows?
• Have I failed to defend the sanctity of Matrimony in my conversations when it is attacked, ridiculed or belittled?
• Have I weakened my marriage commitment through my obsession with another person?
• Have I behaved in an inappropriate way with members of the opposite sex? (flirting, touching, etc.)
• Have I consented to impure thoughts?
• Am I living in an adulterous situation?
• Have I been obedient to the laws of the Church regarding marriage, or re-marriage to someone who has previously been married?
• Am I guilty of polygamy or polyandry? (having more than one wife or husband)

You shall not desire your neighbor’s goods.

• Am I envious of what other people have? (possessions, successes, families, etc.)
• Am I greedy, miserly, or niggardly?
• Have I placed too high a priority on material possessions?
• Am I consumed by my personal ambitions, to the detriment of my family life and personal spiritual growth?
• Do I try to project a false image of myself through ostentation?
• Do I trust that God will care for all of my material needs?
• Do I live Gospel simplicity and detachment?

ACT OF CONTRITION

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.

ACT OF REPENTANCE

Heavenly Father, I come to you today with the stain of sin on my soul. But I ask you to look not so much at my sins as at the deep sadness and regret that I feel in my heart for having offended you. You have generously revealed your Fatherly love to me. You have adopted me personally as a son/daughter through the blood of Jesus Christ, your beloved Son, and you allow me to partake of your divine nature. I know that you want me to freely respond to your generous revelation by loving you with my whole mind, heart, soul and strength, so I can come to perfect communion with you. And still, I have done what is displeasing in your sight and grieved your loving heart by my selfishness. And so, Lord, I come to you, humbled by my weakness, but having full faith and trust in your great mercy, without which I would have no hope. I repent of my sins in the name of Jesus my Savior. I turn away from my wrongdoing and lack of love, and promise to strive to grow in virtue and do only that which pleases you. And I ask you, merciful Lord, to forgive my sins. Cast them as far from me as the east is from the west, and remember them no more. Fill me with your Holy Spirit, who will make me strong, loving and wise. And please, give me the grace to change my heart and my life so that I can go forth and love you above all things, do your will, and love others as you love me; so that I may act in self-giving love in everything that I think, say and do, and that I can truly open myself to receive the love that you and others want to give me. Amen.

THE PENITENTIAL PSALMS

6 32 38 51 102 130 143

SCRIPTURE PASSAGES FOR REFLECTION

Psalm 65: 2-3
O Lord who hears our prayer! To you shall all flesh come on account of sins. When our transgressions prevail over us, you forgive them.

Psalm 85:2
You did forgive the iniquity of your people; you pardoned all their sin.

Psalm 86:5
For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call on you.

Psalm 103:11-13
For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear him.

Sirach 17:24
Yet to those who repent he grants a return, and he encourages those whose endurance is failing.

Isaiah 1:18
Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

Isaiah 38:17
Lo, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but you have held back my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back.

Isaiah 43:25
I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.

Jeremiah 31:34
And no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.

Ezekiel 18:22
None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness which he has done he shall live.

Micah 7:18-20
Who is a God like thee, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger for ever because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion upon us, he will tread our iniquities under foot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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November 24, 2004

Prayer for healing in the family

Dunmoose reprints a prayer for family/generational healing here.

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November 18, 2004

Attention, Fathers

BenedictaJoy shares some of the pain of an unreconciled relationship with her father, and gives some advice:

A father's love, the touch of his hand on your head in blessing, is a potent thing. Bestowed, it can bring life and blessing. Withheld, it has the power to destroy......Fathers, take note. Give life. Give love. Bless each daughter and son today....Not tomorrow. Today.

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November 9, 2004

Advent is Coming

It's not too early to start preparing for Advent. Here you can find some Catholic Traditions for Advent and Christmas, and here the History of the Advent Wreath.

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October 30, 2004

"Rouse me from sloth..."

Came across the following prayer while reading in John Henry Cardinal Newman’s Meditations and Devotions (Part III.III.1.3)

My God, how far am I from acting according to what I know so well! I confess it, my heart goes after shadows. I love anything better than communion with Thee. I am ever eager to get away from Thee. Often I find it difficult even to say my prayers. There is hardly any amusement I would not rather take up than set myself to think of Thee. Give me grace, O my Father, to be utterly ashamed of my own reluctance! Rouse me from sloth and coldness, and make me desire Thee with my whole heart. Teach me to love meditation, sacred reading, and prayer. Teach me to love that which must engage my mind for all eternity.

Don’t you just love the blunt candor? What earthy honesty! Will there ever come a time when I can say “Well, at least I’m beyond that.”?? How ever did those Desert Fathers [and Mothers :) ] do it !?!?

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October 28, 2004

Going deeper into Sunday Mass

During the past couple weeks, inspired by John Paul II’s latest Apostolic Letter, I’ve spent some time reflecting on how the Lord might want me to lead my family to a deeper understanding of and reverence for the Holy Eucharist in this Year of the Eucharist. Since one of our Holy Father’s desires for this Year is for us to deepen our appreciation of Sunday Mass, I’ll start there. I’ve distilled our Church’s teaching on the Mass down to eight primary points that I’d like my kids to have in mind each time they go to Mass. I want them to have absolutely no uncertainty about why they are there:

• To give thanks (Eucharist) to God by offering and worship;
  
• To offer Jesus to the Father;
  
• To offer myself and all aspects of my life, in union with Jesus and my brethren, to the Father;
  
• To hear God’s word in Sacred Scripture (and be changed by it);
  
• To have the sacrifice of Jesus re-presented to me;
  
• To worthily receive the Real Presence of Jesus in the Bread of Life (and be changed by it)
  
• To remember with hope that Jesus will come again in glory at the end of history;
  
• To be sent forth (Ite, missa est) to proclaim by my life and words the love I have received, that the world might be imbued with Christian values.
  

I’ve also taken the time to review the Pope’s encyclical, Ecclesia de Eucharistia, and captured eight ideas capable of intensifying our devotion at Sunday Mass:

Amazement The Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus “is as it were gathered up, foreshadowed and "concentrated" for ever in the gift of the Eucharist. In this gift Jesus Christ entrusted to his Church the perennial making present of the paschal mystery. With it he brought about a mysterious “oneness in time” between that Triduum and the passage of the centuries. The thought of this leads us to profound amazement and gratitude…..This amazement should always fill the Church assembled for the celebration of the Eucharist……I would like to rekindle this Eucharistic “amazement” by the present Encyclical Letter…..”

Recognizing Christ “To contemplate Christ involves being able to recognize him wherever he manifests himself, in his many forms of presence, but above all in the living sacrament of his body and his blood. The Church draws her life from Christ in the Eucharist; by him she is fed and by him she is enlightened.”

We are present “The Eucharist is indelibly marked by the event of the Lord's passion and death, of which it is not only a reminder but the sacramental re-presentation. It is the sacrifice of the Cross perpetuated down the ages….. When the Church celebrates the Eucharist, the memorial of her Lord's death and resurrection, this central event of salvation becomes really present and “the work of our redemption is carried out.” This sacrifice is so decisive for the salvation of the human race that Jesus Christ offered it and returned to the Father only after he had left us a means of sharing in it as if we had been present there.”

Offering “The gift of [Jesus’] love and obedience to the point of giving his life is in the first place a gift to his Father. Certainly it is a gift given for our sake, and indeed that of all humanity, yet it is first and foremost a gift to the Father: “a sacrifice that the Father accepted…..in return for this total self-giving by his Son…..In giving his sacrifice to the Church, Christ has also made his own the spiritual sacrifice of the Church, which is called to offer herself in union with the sacrifice of Christ. This is the teaching of the Second Vatican Council concerning all the faithful: “Taking part in the Eucharistic Sacrifice, which is the source and summit of the whole Christian life, they offer the divine victim to God, and offer themselves along with it”.”

Holy Spirit “Through our communion in his body and blood, Christ also grants us his Spirit….. Thus by the gift of his body and blood Christ increases within us the gift of his Spirit…..”

Ongoing Conversion “Proclaiming the death of the Lord “until he comes” entails that all who take part in the Eucharist be committed to changing their lives and making them in a certain way completely “Eucharistic”.”

Jesus receives us “Incorporation into Christ, which is brought about by Baptism, is constantly renewed and consolidated by sharing in the Eucharistic Sacrifice, especially by that full sharing which takes place in sacramental communion. We can say not only that each of us receives Christ, but also that Christ receives each of us. He enters into friendship with us: “You are my friends” (Jn 15:14). Indeed, it is because of him that we have life: “He who eats me will live because of me” (Jn 6:57). Eucharistic communion brings about in a sublime way the mutual “abiding” of Christ and each of his followers: “Abide in me, and I in you” (Jn 15:4).”

Like Mary “At the Annunciation Mary conceived the Son of God in the physical reality of his body and blood, thus anticipating within herself what to some degree happens sacramentally in every believer who receives, under the signs of bread and wine, the Lord's body and blood. As a result, there is a profound analogy between the Fiat which Mary said in reply to the angel, and the Amen which every believer says when receiving the body of the Lord.”

“And is not the enraptured gaze of Mary as she contemplated the face of the newborn Christ and cradled him in her arms that unparalleled model of love which should inspire us every time we receive Eucharistic communion?”

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October 26, 2004

Husbands, love your wives...

Dr Kevin Miller at the HMS Blog has an insightful and balanced commentary on today’s much-misinterpreted reading from Ephesians 5. His current post, as well as his previous posts to which he links, make for some thought-provoking reading, especially for Catholic husbands/fathers.

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October 7, 2004

The Rosary and the Holy Eucharist

As usual, our Holy Father has invited us to pray the Rosary in this month of October. Additionally, the Church's Year of the Eucharist starts in just a few days, which means I'll be trying to get to Eucharistic Adoration a bit more often during this Year. Sometimes I pray the Rosary while at Eucharistic Adoration. When I do, I often enjoy meditating on mysteries that may be more directly related to the Holy Eucharist. This site has some Eucharistic Mysteries for the Rosary that include some reflections from both Sacred Scripture and Ecclesia De Eucharistia. I've also compiled some Eucharistic Mysteries that include readings from both Sacred Scripture and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which I've reprinted below.

EUCHARISTIC MYSTERIES for the Rosary

1. THE CHANGING OF WATER INTO WINE AT CANA

John 2:1-11 On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you." Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, "Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast." So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now." This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

CCC, n. 1335 The sign of water turned into wine at Cana already announces the Hour of Jesus’ glorification. It makes manifest the fulfillment of the wedding feast in the Father’s kingdom, where the faithful will drink the new wine that has become the Blood of Christ.

2. THE MULTIPLICATION OF THE LOAVES

John 6:1-14 After this Jesus went to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiberias. And a multitude followed him, because they saw the signs which he did on those who were diseased. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there sat down with his disciples. Now the Passover, the feast of the Jews, was at hand. Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a multitude was coming to him, Jesus said to Philip, "How are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?" This he said to test him, for he himself knew what he would do. Philip answered him, "Two hundred denarii would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little." One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, "There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish; but what are they among so many?" Jesus said, "Make the people sit down." Now there was much grass in the place; so the men sat down, in number about five thousand. Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the fish, as much as they wanted. And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, "Gather up the fragments left over, that nothing may be lost." So they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten. When the people saw the sign which he had done, they said, "This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world!"

CCC, n. 1335 The miracles of the multiplication of the loaves, when the Lord says the blessing, breaks and distributes the loaves through his disciples to feed the multitude, prefigure the superabundance of this unique bread of his Eucharist

3. THE BREAD OF LIFE

John 6:25-69 When they found him on the other side of the sea, they said to him, "Rabbi, when did you come here?" Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of man will give to you; for on him has God the Father set his seal." Then they said to him, "What must we do, to be doing the works of God?" Jesus answered them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent." So they said to him, "Then what sign do you do, that we may see, and believe you? What work do you perform? Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat.'" Jesus then said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven; my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven, and gives life to the world." They said to him, "Lord, give us this bread always." Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me; and him who comes to me I will not cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me; and this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up at the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that every one who sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day." The Jews then murmured at him, because he said, "I am the bread which came down from heaven." They said, "Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How does he now say, 'I have come down from heaven'?" Jesus answered them, "Do not murmur among yourselves. No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets, 'And they shall all be taught by God.' Every one who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me. Not that any one has seen the Father except him who is from God; he has seen the Father. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that a man may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.” The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever." This he said in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum. Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?" But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples murmured at it, said to them, "Do you take offense at this? Then what if you were to see the Son of man ascending where he was before? It is the spirit that gives life, the flesh is of no avail; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you that do not believe." For Jesus knew from the first who those were that did not believe, and who it was that would betray him. And he said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father." After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also wish to go away?" Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."

CCC, n. 1336 The first announcement of the Eucharist divided the disciples, just as the announcement of the Passion scandalized them: "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” The Eucharist and the Cross are stumbling blocks. It is the same mystery and it never ceases to be an occasion of division. "Will you also go away?": the Lord's question echoes through the ages, as a loving invitation to discover that only he has "the words of eternal life" and that to receive in faith the gift of his Eucharist is to receive the Lord himself.

CCC, n. 2835 (referring to the phrase in the ‘Our Father,’ “Give us this day our daily bread”......) This petition, with the responsibility it involves, also applies to another hunger from which men are perishing: "Man does not live by bread alone, but . . . by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God," that is, by the Word he speaks and the Spirit he breathes forth. Christians must make every effort "to proclaim the good news to the poor." There is a famine on earth, "not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD." For this reason the specifically Christian sense of this fourth petition concerns the Bread of Life: The Word of God accepted in faith, the Body of Christ received in the Eucharist.

4. THE INSTITUTION OF THE HOLY EUCHARIST

Luke 22:14-20 And when the hour came, he sat at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, "I have earnestly desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer; for I tell you I shall not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God." And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, "Take this, and divide it among yourselves; for I tell you that from now on I shall not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes." And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." And likewise the cup after supper, saying, "This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.

1 Cor 11:23-26 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

CCC, n. 1364 In the New Testament, the memorial takes on new meaning. When the Church celebrates the Eucharist, she commemorates Christ's Passover, and it is made present the sacrifice Christ offered once for all on the cross remains ever present. "As often as the sacrifice of the Cross by which 'Christ our Pasch has been sacrificed' is celebrated on the altar, the work of our redemption is carried out."

CCC, n. 1365 Because it is the memorial of Christ's Passover, the Eucharist is also a sacrifice. The sacrificial character of the Eucharist is manifested in the very words of institution: "This is my body which is given for you" and "This cup which is poured out for you is the New Covenant in my blood." In the Eucharist Christ gives us the very body which he gave up for us on the cross, the very blood which he "poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

5. THE MYSTICAL BODY OF CHRIST

1 Cor 10:16-17 The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.

Rom 12:3-6a For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him. For as in one body we have many members, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them….

1 Cor 12:12-27 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body--Jews or Greeks, slaves or free -- and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single organ, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those parts of the body which we think less honorable we invest with the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior part, that there may be no discord in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

Eph 5:29-30 For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

CCC, n. 1329 [The Eucharist is called] The Breaking of Bread, because Jesus used this rite, part of a Jewish meal when as master of the table he blessed and distributed the bread, above all at the Last Supper. It is by this action that his disciples will recognize him after his Resurrection, and it is this expression that the first Christians will use to designate their Eucharistic assemblies; by doing so they signified that all who eat the one broken bread, Christ, enter into communion with him and form but one body in him.

CCC, n. 1331 [The Eucharist is also called] Holy Communion, because by this sacrament we unite ourselves to Christ, who makes us sharers in his Body and Blood to form a single body.

CCC, n. 738 Thus the Church's mission is not an addition to that of Christ and the Holy Spirit, but is its sacrament: in her whole being and in all her members, the Church is sent to announce, bear witness, make present, and spread the mystery of the communion of the Holy Trinity:

“All of us who have received one and the same Spirit, that is, the Holy Spirit, are in a sense blended together with one another and with God. For if Christ, together with the Father's and his own Spirit, comes to dwell in each of us, though we are many, still the Spirit is one and undivided. He binds together the spirits of each and every one of us, . . . and makes all appear as one in him. For just as the power of Christ's sacred flesh unites those in whom it dwells into one body, I think that in the same way the one and undivided Spirit of God, who dwells in all, leads all into spiritual unity.” (St Cyril of Alexandria)

CCC, n. 1396 The unity of the Mystical Body: the Eucharist makes the Church. Those who receive the Eucharist are united more closely to Christ. Through it Christ unites them to all the faithful in one body - the Church. Communion renews, strengthens, and deepens this incorporation into the Church, already achieved by Baptism. In Baptism we have been called to form but one body. The Eucharist fulfills this call: "The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread:"

“If you are the body and members of Christ, then it is your sacrament that is placed on the table of the Lord; it is your sacrament that you receive. To that which you are you respond "Amen" ("yes, it is true!") and by responding to it you assent to it. For you hear the words, "the Body of Christ" and respond "Amen." Be then a member of the Body of Christ that your Amen may be true.” (St Augustine)

Prayer of Pope Leo XIII to St. Joseph (to be prayed after the Rosary)

To you, O Blessed Joseph, we come in our trials, and having asked the help of your most holy spouse, we confidently ask your patronage also. Through that sacred bond of charity which united you to the Immaculate Virgin Mother of God and through the fatherly love with which you embraced the Child Jesus, we humbly beg you to look graciously upon the beloved inheritance which Jesus Christ purchased by his blood, and to aid us in our necessities with your power and strength.
O most provident guardian of the Holy Family, defend the chosen children of Jesus Christ. Most beloved father, dispel the evil of falsehood and sin. Our most mighty protector, graciously assist us from heaven in our struggle with the power of darkness. And just as you once saved the Child Jesus from mortal danger, so now defend God’s Holy Church from the snares of her enemies and from all adversity. Shield each one of us by your constant protection, so that, supported by your example and your help, we may be able to live a virtuous life, to die a holy death, and to obtain eternal happiness in heaven. Amen.

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October 4, 2004

The last paragraph in this

The last paragraph in this post at Flos Carmeli really caused me to stop and reflect for a while. What jumped out at me was the use of the phrase “to be” twice in that paragraph. I began to mentally contrast it with the phrase “to do.” In my earlier days as a parent, I think I was really focused on training my children what ‘to do.’ While I still do that, now it’s done more within the broader context of teaching them how ‘to be.’ My ability to effectively convey that “context” to my children has increased as I’ve worked at growing in my own personal understanding of what I/we are ‘to be’ ("worked at" in cooperation with God’s grace and Spirit, of course).

Have you ever been impressed by someone, but you can’t pinpoint anything specific that they ‘did,’ it’s just how they ‘are’? If the things we do (and our children do) are done in the broader context of a life directed toward self-giving love (in imitation of Jesus), then, as Steven says in his last sentence, “we go out into the world and make it real for people who do not even begin to suspect its truth.”

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September 15, 2004

Honoring Our Sorrowful Mother

Here is a litany to help us honor Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, today. It was apparently composed by Pope Pius VII while he was held in captivity by Napoleon. Today would be a great day to take those issues (especially family issues) that weigh most heavily on our heart and offer them to Jesus through our Sorrowful Mother's intercession.

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September 14, 2004

Prayer for Purity

I really enjoy a good, creative prayer. In its May/June 2004 issue, Lay Witness magazine printed an article by Dr Daniel Van Slyke ( a professor at the University of St Mary of the Lake in Mundelein, IL) describing how modern males are almost constantly bombarded by sexually provocative images in public places. He concludes his article with a “prayer, inspired by the De profundis (Psalm 130),” which he hopes “will prove a spiritual resource to husbands struggling with sexual purity:”

De Profundis for the Married Man

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord,
Lord, hear my prayer.
The enemy has hedged me in with fleshly temptation,
in the mail, in the stores, on electronic screens of all sorts.
Everywhere I turn, lo! I am confronted with wickedness,
and the weakness of my own flesh.
Wherever I flee he overtakes me,
that ancient serpent who strives
to put enmity between husband and wife,
between spouses and the Lord.
Why have you turned your back on me,
that even on my own bed
I am assailed with thoughts of selfish pleasures
that drag my soul into the pit,
and my sin is exposed before you.
My heart yearns for your saving help,
infuse it with manly virtue.
Send forth your holy angel to cast into the pit
that devil who lays snares for my life
and the life of my family.
Strengthen, I beseech you, my arms for battle,
set my feet on the path of righteousness,
for by your grace only can man prevail.
I trust in the Lord, who supplies aid to my weakness,
and I praise his name in the presence of the faithful.
Grant, Lord, that with clean hands and a pure heart
I may receive you in the assembly,
and render you due worship with all my life,
refreshed by your holy sacraments.

You can sign up for a free trial copy of Lay Witness magazine here.

Posted by Walter Babetski at 11:44 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 13, 2004

Hot Conference

For anyone within traveling distance to Philadelphia, I highly recommend the upcoming “Conference on the Eucharist” sponsored by the St John Neumann Chapter of Catholics United for the Faith. It will be held on Saturday, September 25th at St. Charles Borromeo Seminary beginning at 9am. Speakers will include Most Rev. John Donoghue, DD, Archbishop of Atlanta; Mother Mary Assumpta Long, OP Co-Foundress and Mother Superior of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist; Rev. Shaun Mahoney, STD and Janet Haggerty, Ph.D., Assistant Professors of Theology at St. Charles Borromeo Seminary. His Eminence Justin Cardinal Rigali, Archbishop of Philadelphia will be the principal celebrant & homilist at the concluding Mass at 4:30 in St. Martin’s Chapel. Cost is $35/person, including lunch. If you email me, I can send you a pdf of the registration form.

I attended last year’s conference, which was my first. I think there were over 300 people in attendance, with a good number of ‘habited’ religious sisters (about two dozen Missionaries of Charity alone!). The seminary buildings and grounds are just gorgeous. It would be a great way to prepare to begin the Year of the Eucharist!

Posted by Walter Babetski at 12:34 PM | TrackBack

September 11, 2004

The Prodigal son

Dr Kevin Miller of the HMS blog provides several links to help us delve deeply into this Sunday's Gospel.......

Posted by Walter Babetski at 11:07 AM | TrackBack

September 8, 2004

Parental influence

The Mom who authors the Selkie blog yesterday posted a quote that I found very thought-provoking:

It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather.... I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.

If only I could have understood this twenty years ago! Better late than never, I guess.

Posted by Walter Babetski at 8:54 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 27, 2004

Holy Father challenges youth again

Back here, I had mentioned how Pope John Paul II repeatedly challenges youth to find the meaning of their lives. He’s at it again in his just-released message for World Youth Day 2005:

Are you not perhaps yearning for the Absolute and in search of “something” to give a meaning to your lives? (next-to-last sentence in n. 6)

As we teach our children, and in an effort to follow our Holy Father’s lead, we’ve developed this basic summary of “the meaning of life” which we have posted in our bathroom as an ever-present reminder:

The goal of each human person is to attain full communion with God. Our earthly life is meant to be a lived response to the personal love that God our Father has for each of us. We fulfill our baptismal call as children of God through our faith in his beloved Son, Jesus, who redeemed us from our sinful, self-centered nature, and through doing his will for us by living lives of self-giving love for God and others, thereby reflecting to the world the very love of the Blessed Trinity. Because of our sin-prone fallen nature, we are incapable of doing this on our own. We need to freely cooperate with the abundant grace God makes available to us through his Church and the power of the Holy Spirit to live lives of ongoing conversion and evangelization. As we more and more give of ourselves and do God’s will, the very life of Christ is reproduced in us, and we fulfill our heavenly Father’s desire for us to be partakers of his divine nature and live in joyful eternal union with him as children in his family.

It’s probably a little longer than a good ‘mission statement’ should be, but we wanted to cover all of the elements that we thought were really necessary.

Of course, I welcome your comments, criticisms and suggestions.

Posted by Walter Babetski at 8:04 AM | TrackBack

August 26, 2004

The latest online issue of

The latest online issue of Lay Witness magazine has a short inspirational article on the Liturgy of the Hours for families.

Posted by Walter Babetski at 1:14 PM | TrackBack

August 18, 2004

A day at the park

Yesterday was our family’s annual trip to the amusement park. Once each summer, we travel an hour to Knoebel’s Amusement Park for a day of fun. It has been a family tradition for about 15 years now. The level of eagerness with which the kids anticipate this day rivals that of Christmas (....should I be embarrassed about that?) Though we only make this trek into Columbia County in PA once a year, the kids know what landmarks to look for. The younger ones learn them from the older ones in a kind of passing down via oral tradition. And the excitement builds as each landmark is passed. We arrive by 11:00 a.m. when the park opens, and stay until it closes at 10:00 p.m. They really enjoy seeing the park lit up so colorfully after dark.

Amid the fun of the day, the occasional incident of selfishness gets overshadowed by many instances of self-giving love: older children taking younger ones on rides, one child passing up his preference to accommodate the preference of another, food being shared generously......a kind of barometer indicating that despite my many weaknesses as a father, the children are learning to love anyway (thanks mostly to Mom).

At one point, as I waited on a shady bench for the kids to finish on one of the rides, seeing all of the people in lines and milling about, I recalled the words of our Holy Father in n. 8 of Novo millennio ineunte:

I have often stopped to look at the long queues of pilgrims waiting patiently to go through the Holy Door. In each of them I tried to imagine the story of a life, made up of joys, worries, sufferings; the story of someone whom Christ had met and who, in dialogue with him, was setting out again on a journey of hope.

In a similar way, I looked at the faces of the people in my vicinity and wondered things like......what is the meaning of life for them?......do they believe in God?.....do they know the personal love of Jesus?......what difficulties or suffering are they experiencing in life?......do they pray?

As we pile into the car for the ride home, expressions of gratitude to Mom and Dad abound, started by the older ones and echoed by the younger. By the time we’ve driven 15 minutes, almost everyone has fallen asleep from exhaustion. And I get an hour of solitude while driving home.

Posted by Walter Babetski at 6:14 PM | TrackBack

August 13, 2004

Did Mary die?

Regarding this Sunday’s Solemnity of the Assumption, here are our Holy Father’s thoughts on whether or not our Blessed Mother died before she was assumed into heaven.....

Posted by Walter Babetski at 8:45 AM | TrackBack

August 3, 2004

I enjoy finding good prayers.

I enjoy finding good prayers. Here's a Prayer for Family Healing that I found while surfing one day.

Posted by Walter Babetski at 8:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 24, 2004

Two days ago, I received

Two days ago, I received the call that all parents dread: “Hello, Mr Babetski? This is the Community Medical Center Emergency Room. We have your son Daniel here. He’s been in an accident. (my heart feels like it stops and blood seems to drain from my face as I listen) He’s awake and alert, but has some injuries. (heart restarts and some blood resumes flow) Can you come here now?”

My 19-yr-old son had been returning from his girlfriend’s house, which is a little over an hour away. He was enroute to his second-shift job, and was only ten minutes away when he apparently fell asleep at the wheel. His ’91 Honda Civic crossed the centerline, grazed off one oncoming vehicle and careened into another before coming to a halt and catching fire. I am told that a (still anonymous) “by-stander” pulled Dan from the burning wreckage. He was taken a short distance by ambulance to a clearing where he was transferred to a med-evac helicopter, and transported to the area’s best-known trauma center.

Though information on them is yet sketchy, the people in the cars that Dan hit reported only minor injuries (Thank you, Lord!). ’91 Honda Civics were not built to withstand great impact, and didn’t have an airbag. But Dan did have his seatbelt on, which may have saved his life (an abrasion/imprint is visible across his chest and waist). The front half of the car was pretty much demolished (steering wheel broke right off the column!). The emergency responders, having seen the car, were amazed that he was still alive. Dan suffered a broken femur (thighbone) which was surgically repaired yesterday (apparently, he’ll be setting off metal detectors for the rest of his life!). Additionally, he has about 10 staples and 8 sutures holding some lacerated flesh together, and plenty of other bumps and bruises. Today has been his first day of alert consciousness since the accident. Though he’s had moments of relative humor, and is extremely grateful that no one else was seriously injured, he is generally despondent, remorseful, and lamenting of his role (carelessness, irresponsibility) in the whole affair. He said he was aware of feeling tired while driving, but didn’t want to stop and end up being late for work.

I still need some time to process my own thoughts, attitudes and reactions from the past 48-hrs, but I wanted to share this with you now, most especially that I might humbly implore your prayers for all aspects of this situation. Dan will be in the hospital for another 3 or 4 days, then will need some intense physical therapy and rehab for that leg. Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to blog some of my reflections. Right now I have a lot of praying, thinking, thanking and care-giving to do. Thanks in advance for your prayers!

Posted by Walter Babetski at 1:08 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

July 21, 2004

Faith

I've been attending a (weekly) series on apologetics at a local parish. Fr. Paul "I'm no theologian" keeps us enthralled. Apologetics is learning our own faith well enough to explain what we believe. "I'm not here to change minds or bring people to the church." He turns and points to the crucifix "That is his job, not mine."

The message of the Catholic Church still remains counter-cultural. "We believe so that we can come to understand". This is the message of the early church. It has not changed.

Whap, right on target for me!

Our faith should lead us to an understanding. I am talking of the faith of "Lord I believe, help my disbelief", Not a "gushy" or even the "powerful presence of the spirit" experience of faith. I do not discount either one as they have been powerful experiences for me. But, for me they are like a puff pastry, tasty but gone way too soon. I am called to be steady and responsible in my practice of my faith. Funny how in sports "the motions" are stressed while "going through the motions" is reputed to be a bad thing in our faith-lives. If we are present at church, we are where we can feel a call to doing something more. We do hear the inspired word of God.

This is like my experience of a marriage for "the long haul". At about 17-20 years I suddenly began to get a glimmering of "understanding" of some things about "us". As time passes the understanding is becoming deeper. My deepening understanding of married love is leading me to get glimmers of the depth of God's love. Wow!

Posted by John Huntley at 10:54 PM | TrackBack

July 7, 2004

Papal Prayer

Blogging is a bit slow for me these days. In Pennsylvania, homeschoolers are required by law at the end of each school year to have their students evaluated by a certified teacher, and to submit a portfolio of their schoolwork to the public school district. So Mary Cay and I are busy getting all that done.

In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy recalling the prayer of Pope John Paul II for families which concludes his Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Ecclesia in America (n. 76):

In concluding this Apostolic Exhortation, in which I have taken up the proposals of the Synod Fathers, I gladly welcome their suggestion to compose a prayer for the families of America. I invite individuals, communities and ecclesial groups, wherever two or more gather in the Lord's name, to strengthen through prayer the spiritual bond between all American Catholics. Let everyone join in the prayer of the Successor of Peter, invoking Christ who is “the way of conversion, communion and solidarity in America”:

We thank you, Lord Jesus,
because the Gospel of the Father's love,
with which you came to save the world,
has been proclaimed far and wide in America
as a gift of the Holy Spirit
that fills us with gladness.

We thank you for the gift of your Life,
which you have given us by loving us to the end:
your Life makes us children of God,
brothers and sisters to each other.
Increase, O Lord, our faith and our love for you,
present in all the tabernacles of the continent.

Grant us to be faithful witnesses
to your Resurrection
for the younger generation of Americans,
so that, in knowing you, they may follow you
and find in you their peace and joy.
Only then will they know that they
are brothers and sisters
of all God's children scattered
ùthroughout the world.

You who, in becoming man,
chose to belong to a human family,
teach families the virtues which filled with light
the family home of Nazareth.

May families always be united,
as you and the Father are one,
and may they be living witnesses
to love, justice and solidarity;
make them schools of respect,
forgiveness and mutual help,
so that the world may believe;
help them to be the source of vocations
to the priesthood and the consecrated life,
and all the other forms
of firm Christian commitment.

Protect your Church and the Successor of Peter,
to whom you, Good Shepherd, have entrusted
the task of feeding your flock.
Grant that the Church in America may flourish
and grow richer in the fruits of holiness.

Teach us to love your Mother, Mary,
as you loved her.
Give us strength to proclaim
your word with courage
in the work of the new evangelization,
so that the world may know new hope.
Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mother of America,
pray for us!

Given at Mexico City, January 22, in the year 1999, the twenty-first of my Pontificate

Posted by Walter Babetski at 3:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack