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July 26, 2004
Cheerios
You know you are a parent or grandparent, AND it was a stupid question when you reply:
"Actually, I got upset this morning and scattered Cheerios all over the inside of my car".
Posted by John Huntley at 9:39 PM | TrackBack
July 24, 2004
Two days ago, I received
Two days ago, I received the call that all parents dread: “Hello, Mr Babetski? This is the Community Medical Center Emergency Room. We have your son Daniel here. He’s been in an accident. (my heart feels like it stops and blood seems to drain from my face as I listen) He’s awake and alert, but has some injuries. (heart restarts and some blood resumes flow) Can you come here now?”
My 19-yr-old son had been returning from his girlfriend’s house, which is a little over an hour away. He was enroute to his second-shift job, and was only ten minutes away when he apparently fell asleep at the wheel. His ’91 Honda Civic crossed the centerline, grazed off one oncoming vehicle and careened into another before coming to a halt and catching fire. I am told that a (still anonymous) “by-stander” pulled Dan from the burning wreckage. He was taken a short distance by ambulance to a clearing where he was transferred to a med-evac helicopter, and transported to the area’s best-known trauma center.
Though information on them is yet sketchy, the people in the cars that Dan hit reported only minor injuries (Thank you, Lord!). ’91 Honda Civics were not built to withstand great impact, and didn’t have an airbag. But Dan did have his seatbelt on, which may have saved his life (an abrasion/imprint is visible across his chest and waist). The front half of the car was pretty much demolished (steering wheel broke right off the column!). The emergency responders, having seen the car, were amazed that he was still alive. Dan suffered a broken femur (thighbone) which was surgically repaired yesterday (apparently, he’ll be setting off metal detectors for the rest of his life!). Additionally, he has about 10 staples and 8 sutures holding some lacerated flesh together, and plenty of other bumps and bruises. Today has been his first day of alert consciousness since the accident. Though he’s had moments of relative humor, and is extremely grateful that no one else was seriously injured, he is generally despondent, remorseful, and lamenting of his role (carelessness, irresponsibility) in the whole affair. He said he was aware of feeling tired while driving, but didn’t want to stop and end up being late for work.
I still need some time to process my own thoughts, attitudes and reactions from the past 48-hrs, but I wanted to share this with you now, most especially that I might humbly implore your prayers for all aspects of this situation. Dan will be in the hospital for another 3 or 4 days, then will need some intense physical therapy and rehab for that leg. Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to blog some of my reflections. Right now I have a lot of praying, thinking, thanking and care-giving to do. Thanks in advance for your prayers!
Posted by Walter Babetski at 1:08 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
July 21, 2004
Faith
I've been attending a (weekly) series on apologetics at a local parish. Fr. Paul "I'm no theologian" keeps us enthralled. Apologetics is learning our own faith well enough to explain what we believe. "I'm not here to change minds or bring people to the church." He turns and points to the crucifix "That is his job, not mine."
The message of the Catholic Church still remains counter-cultural. "We believe so that we can come to understand". This is the message of the early church. It has not changed.
Whap, right on target for me!
Our faith should lead us to an understanding. I am talking of the faith of "Lord I believe, help my disbelief", Not a "gushy" or even the "powerful presence of the spirit" experience of faith. I do not discount either one as they have been powerful experiences for me. But, for me they are like a puff pastry, tasty but gone way too soon. I am called to be steady and responsible in my practice of my faith. Funny how in sports "the motions" are stressed while "going through the motions" is reputed to be a bad thing in our faith-lives. If we are present at church, we are where we can feel a call to doing something more. We do hear the inspired word of God.
This is like my experience of a marriage for "the long haul". At about 17-20 years I suddenly began to get a glimmering of "understanding" of some things about "us". As time passes the understanding is becoming deeper. My deepening understanding of married love is leading me to get glimmers of the depth of God's love. Wow!
Posted by John Huntley at 10:54 PM | TrackBack
July 17, 2004
Robin Hood, Zoro, Lone Ranger, & Cafeteria Catholicism.
What do these all have in common? They are all fighting a corrupt power hungry authority. Or so we are to believe.
I grew up with these shows on TV or at the movies. They were an example of "one man's fight" against the forces of evil. Their message is deep in the underpinnings of my generation. I believe that it is carried through in our current cultural attitudes.
We have been encouraged (in advertising) for years to stand up for "What you deserve".
We are bombarded lately with messages that we should stand up for a rather vocal "Downtrodden Minority" as they "ACT-up" against a heartless religious bureaucracy that is working to bar them from the joy of a "Marriage" they so richly deserve. Or another group that believes that they deserve to be ordained. Or the others who sadly believe that it is "My choice", rather than someone else's life.
We have been "trained" to be suspicious of anything that gets in the way of what we WANT. Or anything that interferes with what WE believe is good for us. Besides, it feels good to be a hero for the downtrodden.
Here we see a confluence of the "Cult of individuality", "Moral Relativism", and impatience. It is like a room full of four year olds. It is a "MINE!" field.
As Christian husbands and fathers what are we called to do? Pray. Then teach by both example and words. Be present for our spouses and our children. When my oldest ones were young, I would sit in their room as they were going to sleep and read a "trade magazine" out loud to them. Soporific? You bet! Sometimes even to me! The most important thing was that I was there with them.
I've done my best to teach my children a number of things:
There really is a God. There really is an absolute "Right and Wrong". It is OK to have strong values. Having these values means that you may be viewed as "different". It is ok to be "different". Prayer is important. The Sacraments do give us grace. We are ALL to be obedient. Sin is real. No one (except God) will always "understand" why things are the way they are. Human beings are imperfect. Human institutions are therefore also imperfect. God has given us a means of having our sins forgiven. (very useful as we are imperfect). I am not always right, nor are they, but that we are to work on being perfected. God loves us. I love them. Being loved may mean being called to responsibility for an action or inaction. I love their Mother. I love them and their mother even when I express anger or disappointment. They should not try to play Mom vs Dad. We talk. It will not work. (AKA "the older ones blew this game for you" just as we blew it for our younger siblings!) Learn to share. Learn to forgive. Some things are NOT EASY.
This list has varied somewhat with the ages of the children and their individual personality. A couple have been "difficult" (euphemism for hyperactive and willful - ADHD). It has been "work". But my vocation has been to be a husband and father. I praise God for all the "gifts" he has allowed me (us) to try to raise. I don't expect that I'll ever stop praying for them.
Posted by John Huntley at 9:09 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 15, 2004
It's ONLY words - NOT!
There is a value and power to common useage of words. I was reminded of this as I found myself yet again yelling at a report on NPR on the radio. I was driving at the time, that is where I am free to vent.
PC Politically Correct, Purposeful Change, Powerful Corruption. It is in someone's advantage to re-define the meaning of common words and phrases. If you change the common useage, you change the common meaning.
I was yelling at the reporting of the failure of the procedural motion to bring Senate Resolution 40, also known as FMA, forward to an eventual vote. The comment? "The bill to ban Gay Marriage has failed". Heard again later, "The bill to prevent Gay Marriage has failed". The same phrasing was also used by a local reporter in a local news segment.
How can you ban something that does not exist?
We need to hold fast to what the term Marriage really means. Sacramental Marriage.
Here are a very few excerpts the sermon on Marriage by St John Chrysostom, from the Book On Marriage and Family Life, a collection of his sermons.
"Marriage was not instituted for wantonness or fornication, but for chastity. ... "These are the two purposes for which Marriage was instituted: to make us chaste and to make us parents. Of these two, the reason of chastity takes precedence. When desire began, then marriage also began."
I wish I had read parts of this collection when it first was published 14 years ago. The sermons themselves date from the third century. They are still timely.
Another aspect of the same attempt to change meaning is the continued effort to change "Love" to mean "Romance".
Love, particularly in a sacramental marriage means commitment and self sacrifice. Romantic "Love" is a feeling. Other feelings include anger, lust, jealousy, greed, sadness, hopelessness, elation, pride. None of these are bad in and of themselves, it is in our human nature to "feel".
Feelings themselves are transitory. How we chose to act on them is the crux of the matter. From a song on EWTN as I type this, "Before you react, just stop and sit back, ask what Jesus would do! "
So it goes with the confusion of romance with love, a substitution of something transient for something permanent.
Years ago I heard that most guys have two feelings: "Good and Bad". Years ago, that was me. That was how I grew up. Like many other men I was not taught the language. I did have to learn to recognize the range of my own emotions. It was important to my growth in love to lean it. I had to learn my own feelings to better understand Alicia's feelings. It also helped me to understand and have empathy with the children as they grew. The younger ones benefitted from it. The oldest two say that the rest had "different parents". What can I say, I/we continue to learn. Perfection lies elsewhere.
Posted by John Huntley at 10:05 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 13, 2004
Class Age Limit: 10
I have a 10 year old son, and this story saddens me greatly.
Posted by Tom at 1:13 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
July 12, 2004
This Wednesday in the Church
This Wednesday in the Church we celebrate the memorial of Bd Kateri Tekakwitha. Mary Cay is planning to take our daughters on a pilgrimage to her shrine and the nearby shrine of the North American Martyrs. It will take them about four hours to get there. The weather is looking a bit questionable, though. So if you think of it, please offer a little prayer that the rain would hold off (at least while they’re at the shrines). And here’s a litany of Kateri for your personal prayer time.
Posted by Walter Babetski at 12:38 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
July 11, 2004
Found prayer
Prayer of parents for teenaged children
Dear Lord, be with us and our children now as they enter adolescence. Give them the courage to be different and not to be compelled by the unthinking crowd as they develop strong loyalties toward their friends. Give them the strength to guide and control new physical powers as they grow and develop. Give them reverence for their bodies and for their role in divine creation as they mature. Let the normal attraction between the sexes be for them a further unfolding of your divine plan for life and love, not a path of temptation or compromise. Give them also discernment, docility and patience, so that they do not become prideful and rebellious as they develop new powers of mind and a questioning spirit. Give us wisdom to realize that much of their behavior stems from change and confusion and not disrespect. Give us wisdom to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no"; when to forbid and when to forget; when to punish and when to praise. And, finally, give us the courage to let them go away from us as they grow in age and grace and wisdom before God and man under your care. Amen
One of the items that I chose from my late mother's belongings (several years ago) was a book of prayer. The prayer above is from the "Family Prayer Book" by Regina press. I was glancing through it today and it fell open to this page. As the imprimatur date is July 31, 1967; I suspect that I am a portion of the reason it falls open to that page. It is fitting that I should also make use of this prayer for my youngest. I could have used it with some of the older ones.
Then again, God's time is not ours. I just said it again for all of them. "Give us the courage to let them go..." And the grace to continue praying for them to grow in your grace and to turn to you.
They are under our care for such a short time. I heard it from others. Now I understand it and feel the bittersweet of it.
Posted by John Huntley at 12:02 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 10, 2004
Family Vacation Over
Well, I had most of this last week off. I decided to go into work yesterday (Friday) so I can take next Friday off for a few reasons. We had a good week together as a family. We decided to stay home and do things around here. We have a membership at the local pool, and we went there about 3 times. I think we will probably go again tomorrow. The pool is awesome. It's huge, you can wade into it as though you were at the beach. They have a few water slides that are not the typical blue swoosh into the pool. They twist all over the place with water running down them. Very fun, and I was just like a kid running up the stairs to go again. In fact, I seemed to be the only adult doing so more than once. I'm still a kid at 37.
The kids had a ball. We had a lot of good family time together. We also went to a minor league baseball game Thursday night. The Kane County Cougars, an affilliate of the Oakland A's. They play not more than 2 miles from our house. They had fireworks, and we got to run the bases after the game. It was a great time. They frequently have fireworks, and we can see them from our home.
We also went to the fireworks on the 4th in Batavia, IL. That's always a lot of fun. We got their early and had a cookout in the park. The kids run all over the place and make new friends. This was the first year in my life where debris from the show was showering all over us. We weren't really that close, yet little pieces of cardboard were landing all over us. The parking lot near us also had debris all over the place. I've never seen that before in my 37 years of attending firework shows.
I hope your summer vacation is/was as fun as ours. We're also going to try to have some fun with some 3 day weekends coming up.
God bless you!!
Posted by Tom at 12:22 PM | TrackBack
July 7, 2004
Papal Prayer
Blogging is a bit slow for me these days. In Pennsylvania, homeschoolers are required by law at the end of each school year to have their students evaluated by a certified teacher, and to submit a portfolio of their schoolwork to the public school district. So Mary Cay and I are busy getting all that done.
In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy recalling the prayer of Pope John Paul II for families which concludes his Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Ecclesia in America (n. 76):
In concluding this Apostolic Exhortation, in which I have taken up the proposals of the Synod Fathers, I gladly welcome their suggestion to compose a prayer for the families of America. I invite individuals, communities and ecclesial groups, wherever two or more gather in the Lord's name, to strengthen through prayer the spiritual bond between all American Catholics. Let everyone join in the prayer of the Successor of Peter, invoking Christ who is “the way of conversion, communion and solidarity in America”:
We thank you, Lord Jesus,
because the Gospel of the Father's love,
with which you came to save the world,
has been proclaimed far and wide in America
as a gift of the Holy Spirit
that fills us with gladness.
We thank you for the gift of your Life,
which you have given us by loving us to the end:
your Life makes us children of God,
brothers and sisters to each other.
Increase, O Lord, our faith and our love for you,
present in all the tabernacles of the continent.
Grant us to be faithful witnesses
to your Resurrection
for the younger generation of Americans,
so that, in knowing you, they may follow you
and find in you their peace and joy.
Only then will they know that they
are brothers and sisters
of all God's children scattered
ůthroughout the world.
You who, in becoming man,
chose to belong to a human family,
teach families the virtues which filled with light
the family home of Nazareth.
May families always be united,
as you and the Father are one,
and may they be living witnesses
to love, justice and solidarity;
make them schools of respect,
forgiveness and mutual help,
so that the world may believe;
help them to be the source of vocations
to the priesthood and the consecrated life,
and all the other forms
of firm Christian commitment.
Protect your Church and the Successor of Peter,
to whom you, Good Shepherd, have entrusted
the task of feeding your flock.
Grant that the Church in America may flourish
and grow richer in the fruits of holiness.
Teach us to love your Mother, Mary,
as you loved her.
Give us strength to proclaim
your word with courage
in the work of the new evangelization,
so that the world may know new hope.
Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mother of America,
pray for us!
Given at Mexico City, January 22, in the year 1999, the twenty-first of my Pontificate
Posted by Walter Babetski at 3:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 5, 2004
Bleg
I'm seeking recommendations for books about missionaries, especially nuns, who were caught up in the communist revolution in China (mid-50's to mid-60's). My 14-yr-old Angela read two titles in the past year: Nun in Red China and Calvary in China. She was very moved by them, and is hungry for more. So if there's anything you can recommend, please do so via the Comments Box or my email.
Posted by Walter Babetski at 10:24 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack